I just went thru the a layoff presentation and it was so sobering.  It was just me alone in a conference room listening to a presentation over a computer and conference phone.  A bit like the scenes in the movie “Up in the Air” only I got to choose where to took the pain.

My gut feels weak.  It just felt like a presentation of death.  Significant talk of trying to worry about what happens or what could go wrong after you die. I could almost here my Mom talking to me and thinking death has it’s benefits.  You don’t have to worry about money coverage, you don’t need money, food or medical benefits.

I’m feeling very overwhelmed with the New Orleans trip! This is nuts!  I just need time away for myself!  I should look for an apartment in Wilmington or discuss pet stay with Quality Inn at $800/month.

I’m feeling paralyzed at the moment! I recall all of the talk of importance of taking certain actions at the time you get in you mid to upper 60’s.  All of this is already at 100% of my ability.  I can only imagine that by the time I’m in my 60’s all this stuff will be insurmountable to comprehend, and by that time things will probably be completely different.

I do miss never land! I’m devastated again.

The song “Goodbye Neverland” recorded by Automatic Loveletter rings strongly within me.

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