I felt stressed yesterday as I was planning an outing at the movies with a friend I hadn’t seen for several months.  It became stressful to me because final plans didn’t unfold until the final minutes.  As to why I can get stressed when plans keep changing until the latest moments that’s another issue. But this stress plus staying out later probably translated into it being hard for me to rise out of bed today.

There were several times I tried to feel out the Source and it just wasn’t working.  There was just too much angst going on inside of me.  I also had the perception going on inside of me that Virginia was upset with me.  Something inside of me just felt beat up, anxious and tired.  I hoped I could draw upon that ecstatic feeling of the Source to heal the angst.  But I couldn’t.  I then switch tactics to just sit and feel the full extent of the pain behind the angst.  And I recalled that time some 10 years ago when I first encountered the Source while under great suffering.  When I did allow myself to just sit and allow my angst to fully express itself, to be fully felt, I did start feeling some of the Source.

This is the first time I could almost admit I heard the Source talk to me.  You know how they say listen to that small quiet voice inside of you.  Well this was that small quiet voice.

When I drove to work this morning I did start to feel the Source more.  I think it was the Sun being out on a crisp winter day that triggered this sensation with the Source.  Most certainly I would say it’s easier to ge that connection to the Source in the Sun versus using artificial lighting in the evening.

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