So for about almost a year I’ve been reading this book Balancing Heaven and Earth by Robert A. Johnson.  The main reason I was introduced to this book was because my mention of my experiences with the Source.  Someone mentioned that it sounded a bit like the Golden World that Robert A. Johnson experienced maybe 3 times in his life.  The first time he experienced it was when he was in his teens on a table in a hospital dying from massive internal bleeding from a severely crushed leg, and then some later times generally triggered by a certain aspect of the sunshine under particular circumstances.  In the end Robert states that there is no known way of reaching the Source.  That it is bestowed upon the recipient purely upon grace.

But aside from these encounters with a taste of Heaven, Robert takes what I’ve found the most profound spiritual book I’ve ever read to date.  It’s so much about being a human, being fallible and because of being human and fallible being so simply perceptive.

I think the big thing that Robert reveals is the impact and person Carl Jung.  I’ve heard of Carl Jung in the context of the great Sigmund Frued. When you hear these names you think of troubled and disturbed minds undergoing psychoanalysis of psychiatric intellectuals speaking with German accents.  For a good time Carl Jung was an active intellectual partner of Sigmund Freud and both agreed on the basic concepts of ego and subconcious.  But then at some point Carl took a sharp detour into a world one might consider insanity.  And in the end seemed much more of modern day Shaman rather than a psychologist.  Carl became fascinated with the power of dreams not merely revealing your own issues but in a way predicting the outcome of mankind or almost in ways the coming of a messiah.

Carl Jung discovered evidence of a human collective conscious where a thought in the mind of one person gets transferred to the minds of all mankind without any communication.  This collective conscious is like the great common spiritual ocean, and ultimately our subconscious.  Carl Jung emphasized the importance of this subconscious connection, this spiritual connection otherwise one experiences psychological issues in the conscious world.  In the end the conscious world we live in everyday is not very significant and real.  In fact the big things that occupy our every day conscious life are actually rather meaningless and its the subtle feelings felt in the inner world of our beings that are huge in meaning.  Carl Jung introduces the concept of archetypes as a way of  helping interpret the language of our inner beings.  And many years later a spiritual book writer named Carolyn Myss comes out with a book Sacred Contracts that ultimately flushes out the concept of archetypes.

Robert A Johnson it seems may have been one of Carl Jung’s most esteemed students.  And in the end Carl Jung instructed Robert to stay away from the lime light and not go to any of his Jungian schools because in a way Carl felt Robert was too advanced for his school.  Even Carl Jung himself distanced himself from his own schools, almost to say I’ve matured beyond my legacy, “now don’t listen to my great teachings, listen to your inner voice”

So the 2nd half of Carl Jung’s life, the part that still has yet to be absorbed by psychologist is contained in a recently published book called “the Red Book”.  And this Red Book has a glow of mistique about it.  The Washington Post said: “With a rich crimson dust jacket, thick cream-colored paper and calligraphied pages, this huge tome [the Red Book] is the size of a lectern Bible and looks like the kind of spell book a wizard might consult.”  For years kept a secret in a safe deposit box and then published carefully in a large hard cover book that you might expect to find on one of the shelves of the forbidden section of the library in Hogwartz. Someone is currently selling one copy of this RedBook for $3,500 on Amazon.

So in the end, the truest follower of the late Carl Jung, Robert A Johnson I believe conveys much of the wisdom of this Red Book, but possibly even truer then the book itself.  Dr. Wayne Dyer pretty much founded his fame on words of wisdoms from Carl Jung.  Dr. Dyer is famous and materially wealthy.  Robert A. Johnson is Dr. Dyer’s senior and is much more the real deal, yet is pretty much unknown.  Carl Jung predicted that Robert was destined for a solitary path, and Robert has pretty done this and in the closing parts of what is probably Robert’s last book, is his statement that his ultimate state of being and teaching will be in his silence.

Carolyn Myss mentioned that the heavens work in opposites.  That what seems big is probably small.  What seems small is probably big.  The Bible has words like “the first shall be the last and the last shall be the first” And with Robert it seems the quietest is the truest and the most popular and loudest doesn’t mean very much.

And so lately I’m absorbing and integrating the emotions in me stirred up in my subconscious and conscious with my recent job loss and recovery, my spiritual journey thru the labryinth, my entire life, my purpose, the completion of reading Balancing Heaven and Earth, taking a course in self healing a local intuitive energy school, work in Active Imagination, work in Lucid Dreaming, newer meditations and greater awareness of the pains that had at it’s worst driven to commit suicide.

I think I am at a stage of my life that I am maturing to understand and feel how much pain I really am at. I’ve had people describe at points in my life that I must be in great pain and have never felt it.  But then there would at times points where I’d explode in anger, or shutdown in apathy, or try to mortally hurt myself.  I’d usually handle it by thinking this behavior is wrong and suppress things and act proper and in the process conclude that I’m not in pain and not feel the pain.  But in the end only learn not to feel.

So in this process of unlearning not be unfeeling.  To unlearn how to be “a man”.  To unlearn how to “be strong”. I’ve found myself unraveling into a blubbering mess like a baby from simply watching several different scenes in movies I’ve seen before on cable TV.  I remember when I was in this state before, I watched 10 seconds of a person recounting how he heard news of the Pearl Harbor bombing in World War II and I suddenly started crying uncontrollably at the realization of the great suffering and senseless killing that we are doing to each other. I listened and sang to John Lennon’s “Imagine” and was sobbing and my insides were aching so badly.  And then most recently I was watching Toy Story 3 with others and I was kettle ready to burst in tears.  And all I was thinking to myself is “Oh my God please please keep it together. Please look away from the screen.  This is going to be so embarrassing, a grown man crying from a cartoon.  Suppress the emotion.  Suppress the emotion.”

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