A popular author Dr. Wayne Dyer, who thinks highly of Carl Jung, will mention “source” quite a bit in his talks.  When I first heard him use the word it almost seemed like he was talking about the same thing, but the more I look at it, it’s like he’s using “source” as sort of a neutral way of describing “God”.   Wayne Dyer likes to use source to mean the source of inspiration, the source of love, the source of happiness, which I guess I would say is a bit of an intellectual way of describing the source.

The only reason I ever came up with the word the Source, was because of my experiences of overwhelming ecstasy that made absolutely no sense considering the conditions I was undergoing.  Back in 2008, when I had an episode of ecstasy radiating from the center of my heart (or center of my chest if you prefer), I was inspired to draw the sensation I felt.  The only name that clicked in my head as I started to draw was the Source.  It was not based upon a voice, but just raw physical sensation.

Now as an intellectual afterthought, I guess it would make sense to equate this Source to something like God, but honestly I’d be putting too much interpretation into what was plain and simple an overwhelmingly fantastic sensation. What I will say is that the Source is not something external that I seek, it’s not the sunshine, it’s not clouds, it’s not the glint in a special sunrise or sunset, it is in the end a rather subtle pinpoint region in the very center of my heart. The Source resides inside of me. It is very likely that small still voice within, that speaks not in language but in sensation.

However, I must admit that there are certain external things that I do or look for to trigger that internal sensation.  Trust me when you’ve experienced this ecstasy, it’s like the ultimate drug addiction, only when you experience it, it feels so natural, so right, so good, so this is what it was all meant to be sensation.  The author, Robert A. Johnson, had written about the agony of craving his Golden World, and I admit lately I am drawn to sit still and try my best to feel that Source sensation within.

Things that visually might trigger it are certain cloud patterns I see, and particular glints of sunlight that have particular pinpoint effects. Certain dramatic or sharp contrasts that may naturally occur tend to visually trigger things.  And then sometimes if I wiggle my extremities just right I can evoke some of the memory of the path to the Source and start bringing about the sensation.  My ego would love to tout the fact that I have touched the Source and would want to show you so that you know what you are missing.  But in the end you’ll only know what the Source feels like if you already know or whenever you do manage to know. And there is probably nothing at all I can show or describe to you in technique to show you how to touch the Source.  In the end it comes probably by grace so that the most devout monk may never know the Source in his lifetime yet a materialistic, drunk, derelict may come to experience it in an instant.  I suspect that if you’ve never felt the Source, the more you try the less likely you’ll feel it.  However, if ever you feel completely defeated, a total failure, complete hopelessness, ready for death, that is probably the likely opening for the grace to touch the Source.  So I guess my only advise is to give no advise.  You’ll figure it out, or rather you manage to not figure it out and give up and then you’ll be there.

The ecstasy of the Source is very much at times analogous to the ecstasy of a great sexual orgasm, only in a sexual orgasm the sensation occurs in you lower toreso.  With the Source the sensation definitely centers in the chest region and than radiates outwards and can then engulf your entire body with an ecstasy just as intense as the most intense sexual orgasm, but much more everlasting.

It is interesting to note though that there have been a few times the Source sensation got triggered following a sexual orgasm. In one instance the sensation became so great, I actually got scared, and had to disengage the Source, because I thought my chest was going to burst, or I was about to have a heart attack and that I would die.  It was so wonderful of a sensation, but I guess I was not ready to die yet.

I miss this sensation. Just the memory of it starts to trigger some ecstasy. Wow! 🙂

« »