These past couple of days have been hard.  There’s an energy a memory of some traumatic things in my apartment.  Like lying in bed in the same area where I threw up all over the place, where my lungs, and throat were burning with alcohol.  Anyway, last night I found myself trying to take a small swig of Vodka.  My goal this time was to just get enough to loosen up the tightenness in the center of my chest.  The first shot was almost OK. The 2nd shot was barely palatable. I started to gagg at the taste of it!  I ended up dumping some Vodka down the sink.

I lied down in bed, hoping that something would take effect.  Nothing.  I thought about pills, but knew I only had pills to make things risky, nothing to offer relief.

So I just went to the kitchen and stuffed my face a bit with parts of left over pizza.

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